For anybody who has ever watched the gendered social interactions of women — watched a woman get browbeaten into accepting attention she doesn’t want, watched a woman get interrupted while speaking, watched a woman deny she is upset at being insulted in public, watched a woman get grabbed because of what she was wearing, watched a woman stop arguing — and said and done nothing, you never have the right to ever ask, “Why didn’t she fight back?”
She didn’t fight back because you told her not to. Ever. Ever. You told her that was okay, and necessary, and right.
You didn’t give her a caveat. You didn’t say, “Unless…” You said, “Good for you, shutting up and backing down 99% of the time. Too bad that 1% of the time makes you a fucking whore who deserved it.”
Nobody obtains the superpower to behave dramatically differently during a frightening confrontation. Women will behave the same way they have been taught to behave in all social, professional, and sexual interactions. And they will be pretty goddamned surprised to come out the other end and find out that means they can legally be raped at any time, by just about anybody. (fugitivus)
"There’s an idea out there that we should really be preaching “only yes means yes.” Unless your partner is enthusiastically consenting and participating, unless both parties are 100% comfortable, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. Sex, and making out, and everything in between IS awesome, but it should never happen except between two people who are totally into it and totally comfortable. If “yes means yes” were our standard, there would be no question about whether or not the other person really wants to have sex. You’d have no doubt in your mind. It would be obvious."