it’s my birthday! and you know how milestones and holidays make one reflect.
as some of you may have picked up, i moved to a new place over the summer. this means i’m very very far away from where i’ve lived for the past 13 years and, more importantly, from all the very dear friends who still live back there. making friends as an adult is hard as a general concept, and making friends when you’re an adult me seems to be even harder - it’s just not really in my skill set. so i’ve got a few folks here, the beginnings of a nascent friend community, but it’s such a contrast from how things used to be that it’s hard not to compare and feel sad about what i have now.
i’m also living in a place that is much, much, much smaller than LA, so is lacking a lot of the cultural resources and ethnic diversity and just sheer density of people and places and things. and i’m adjusting, there’s lots to value where i am now, but it’s hard, and slow, and painful.
i want them all to magically appear here and give me a hug and take me to loteria for ceviche and enchiladas suizas and then to la estrella for tacos and then to the drawing room to drink cheap jack n cokes while aerosmith plays on the jukebox. i know that in a year i’ll have my own people here and my own traditions here but today it feels like a long way away.
tl;dr, change is hard.